NASA is funded by a culture desperate to find new things to be afraid of, and space is truly the undiscovered frontier of terrifying danger like, say, the supermassive black hole eating our own galaxy. So how the hell do the scientists in Michael Bay’s Armageddon fail to spot a world-destroying asteroid hurtling towards our planet until it’s only a couple of weeks away? It’s simple… Michael Bay’s Armageddon is a dystopian, hellscaped Michael Bay’s Transformers prequel. It’s just math.
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Writer: Jordan Breeding
Editing: Jordan Breeding, Andy Sowar
Jordan’s Twitter: https://twitter.com/The_J_Breeding
Jordan’s Writing Portfolio: https://thejordanbreedingblog.wordpress.com/2017/03/22/portfolio/
More of Jordan’s Cracked work: https://www.cracked.com/members/jbreeding91/
Sort of Inspired by the article: https://www.cracked.com/article_24729_6-movie-plots-that-only-work-if-whole-world-stupid.html
00:00 – Intro
00:53 – How did we miss a Texas-sized asteroid?
02:52 – Telescopes basically don’t exist
03:31 – What if NASA is intentionally dumb?
03:41 – Transformers’ existence was covered up
04:15 – The only way to hide Cybertron is confiscating telescopes
04:36 – Megatron’s taint = Big Nuke Energy
05:08 – Why is everybody so calm?
06:17 – Ben Affleck hating on Armageddon